


Kiss, Marry, Kill

by JaneyKatherineHummingbird



Series: Star Trek Reader Inserts [31]
Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: F/M, Fluff, silliness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-14
Updated: 2017-09-14
Packaged: 2018-12-29 19:25:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,854
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12091776
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JaneyKatherineHummingbird/pseuds/JaneyKatherineHummingbird
Summary: After unexpectedly winning a goofy contest, Reader finds herself on a date with James T. Kirk.





	Kiss, Marry, Kill

Kiss, Marry, Kill: Starfleet edition (Kirk/Reader)

It all started as a joke: someone in the security department had done the Kiss, Marry, Kill, game with certain co workers and it had started to spread, even down to Medbay, where various nurses could be heard debating the merits of Scotty, Uhura, and even Chekov. The Captain ended up overhearing while he was getting patched up one day and you knew you were all doomed. 

"So, Nurse Y/L/N, how am I faring on the lists down here? Did I make it on a lot of people's Kiss list?"

"I hate to break it to you, captain," you told him, mirth dancing in your eyes, "you're actually leading in the Kill category. Dr. McCoy in particular was very vocal in his choice." 

"Of course he would," Kirk sighed, rolling his far too pretty eyes. "I did think some of you liked me better than that." He made a sad puppy face that was next to impossible to resist, especially for you who secretly had it bad for him. 

"Maybe if you wouldn't be in here so much, we wouldn't be so sick of you, captain," you said mischievously. "Absence makes the heart grow fonder, you know."

"So, if I stayed perfectly healthy, you'd respect me more?" He asked, half teasingly. 

"Possibly," you hinted. "Maybe acting less like a child when you're getting hypos would help too. Just a tip." 

You winked at him and walked out to get the doctor, leaving Jim staring after you, torn between being insulted and in love. 

The next few days, the Kiss, Marry, Kill theme seemed to really spread over the ship. In fact, someone in the bridge crew announced there would be a contest for people to submit their Kiss, Marry, Kill choices, (among the single officers) along with written out reasons to be judged by Uhura and Sulu. Those with the best reasoning for their picks would get to have dinner with the officer of their dreams. 

You rolled your eyes and wondered just how desperate the Captain was to be liked.

"No way am I doing this!" You declared. It's utter childish nonsense!" 

"Oh, c'mon, Y/N, I thought you'd jump at the chance to go out with that corn-fed menace of a Captain you have a crush on," teased Dr. McCoy, hearing your rant. 

"Oh, puh-leeze," you snorted. "I don't have a crush on him. Just because I made one comment about his eyes once, does not mean I'm all lovey-dicey, lovestruck over him. Heck, even YOU admit he has gorgeous eyes, and you certainly have no romantic feelings for him."

"Oh, there's a very big difference, Y/N. You haven't seen yourself when he comes in here. You're practically bowling over the other nurses to get to him." 

"I do not," you sulked. "Do I, Christine?" 

"Well......" she tried to hedge, and you put your hands on your hips, outraged at the lack of support. 

You pretended to utterly ignore the whole contest, but the endless chatter about Jim vs. Scotty vs. Leonard drove you up the wall, especially the guys in medical who talked about him like he was a piece of meat, ripe for the tasting. You hoped they were all horrible writers. Jim deserved better! 

At last, you got an idea. It would probably not win the contest, but it would make you feel better. 

You sat down after shift and started writing.

_Kiss, Marry, Kill, by Y/N Y/L/N_

_Kiss: James T. Kirk_   
_Reason: 1. To shut him up when he drones on and on about the wonders of space 2. Those lips are too perfect 3. My gut tells me he's really good at it._

_Marry: James T. Kirk_   
_Reason: Because I worship the ground he walks on and he might be less of a reckless fool if he had a spouse to remind him how much he has to live for and how loved and needed he is. Also: captain's quarters come with real water showers, a big plus._

_Kill: (Hypothetically, of course) James T. Kirk_   
_Reason: He's a aggravation to the nth degree. Examples include: Frequent Injuries, extreme stubbornness, Those ridiculous stupid smiles he gives that could cause dangerous heart arrhythmia, his bluer than blue eyes that cause people to lose their concentration when he looks at them, and the terrible dad jokes he cracks that he thinks are so funny and laughs so hard at._

Despite being pleased at managing to refrain from mentioning Jim's other positive attributes (that ass!), you wavered back and forth before you finally sent in your entry. You'd kind of bared your heart, after all. However, Sulu and Uhura were both very good at respecting people's privacy and they wouldn't spill your secrets. Besides, the chances of you winning were very low, if not impossible, given that you'd used the same name for every slot. At last, however, you hit send, and went to bed very relieved.

You'd almost forgotten about the whole thing by the time the winners were announced three weeks later and when you got a message declaring "Congratulations, Lieutenant Y/L/N, you were selected as a winner in our shipwide contest. Your entry was chosen as the best among those who put Captain James T. Kirk in the Kiss or Marry options." You stopped reading right then and there and began mentally freaking out.

You'd only entered as a joke and a fun way to relieve your feelings. Guess they'd taken you seriously. Could you back out without looking like an idiot? Surely, the runner up would be more than happy to take your place. 

During lunch the next day, the winners were announced over the intercom by Sulu. You didn't know where to look when your name was read and all your friends turned to stare at you. (Thankfully, McCoy had other things to worry about, since someone had won dinner with him.) 

"Congratulations, Y/N!" Christine said, a pleased grin on her face. "I'll gladly offer my services to help you get ready for your date with the Captain." 

Your face felt like it was burning up, more so when you saw Jim Kirk ambling over to your table. 

"Hi, Captain," you muttered, wishing you could sink through the floor.

"Nurse Y/L/N! This is a happy coincidence!" Kirk exclaimed, walking up to you, with that disgustingly contagious smile on his face.

"How so?" You managed, even more nervous in his presence. 

"I've been trying to get up the courage to ask you out anyway."

"Me?!!" You squeaked. 

"Of course you. You do know you're my favorite nurse, right?" 

"No......" you said slowly, processing this information. Jim liked you? Really? Surely it was too good to be true!

"Yes, you are," he said firmly. "So, Are you going to claim your prize?" There went that cheeky expression again. 

"Insufferable egoist," Len muttered, rolling his eyes. 

"Of course she is!" Christine said for you. "Name the date, place and time, and she'll be there." 

While you were spluttering, they determined the dinner would take place in the small observation deck the next Friday at 1900 hours. 

"Great!" Jim exclaimed, "We'll see you then! Have a nice day, Y/N." 

"Traitor!" You hissed weakly to Christine, but the butterflies of anticipation dancing in your gut said differently. 

"Trust me, you'll thank me later. I wouldn't have done this If I didn't think he really cares about you," she told you. 

She did come through on her promise to help you prepare for the big date, and before you knew it, you were all dolled up in a green dress and cute updo style Christine saw in a magazine and thought would look perfect on you. 

"There! You look stunning!" She said at last, stepping back and inspecting you carefully. 

You smiled and gulped. "Let's hope the Captain thinks so, too."

"Oh, he will," she assured you. "Now, shoo, have a good time!" 

More nervous than you'd ever been, you made your way to the agreed upon room, where Jim was waiting for you. Having rarely seen him in anything besides his uniform or a hospital gown, you were taken aback by the sight of him in a blue dress shirt and tie. 

"Wow!" You breathed. He cleaned up GOOD.

"Wow, yourself," Jim returned. "You look amazing." 

"Thanks," you said, face warm with the compliment. "This was really nice of you to play along, but What if Cupcake had won?" 

Jim laughed. 

"I'd still hang out with him, but He's only likely to put me on the Kill list. Trust me, I'm not his type AT ALL." 

As the two of you devoured the food, which was very tasty, he asked you about what you'd written. 

"I actually didn't think I'd be considered eligible," you told him, "given how I made cases for why I'd want to kiss, marry, AND kill you. Somehow, it was rather cathartic." 

"I seem to inspire that reaction a lot," Jim said ruefully, buttering a roll. "Glad you came, though. So, tell me, what's life like working in Bones's domain? I hear he can be a bear at times." 

"Oh, he can," you confirmed. "You just have to use common sense and know how to placate him. He's a good boss, but he doesn't suffer fools."

"That's very true," Jim said. "He's said several times that next to Chapel, you're the best nurse on Alpha shift."

"He said that?" You asked, flustered again. 

"Yes, he did," Jim said. "And I think you're pretty awesome too--both as a nurse and a person." 

"Wow, You really are a smooth talker," you said, raising an eyebrow. "Let's see if you're still saying that once you've got to know me and my quirks some more." 

"Does this mean you're willing to go on more dates?" He asked, looking hopeful. 

"As long as this one ends as well as it started, definitely." 

"What do you say to this?" He asked, pulling the cover off of a plate containing two lovely slices of chocolate cake with caramel filling peeking out. 

"Poke cake?" You gasped. The man had done his research--this was your absolute favorite indulgence. The white frosting on top covered the caramel glaze that oozed down through holes poked in the cake and made it deliciously gooey and decadent. 

"Indeed. Made special by real people: not replicators." Jim looked extremely pleased with himself, eyes darting back and forth between you and the cake. 

Picking up Jim's hand, you kissed it dramatically. 

"My hero!" You explained in a staged breathy sigh. "That'll do the trick all right. The shyness disappeared along with the cake and you and Jim ended up laughing and talking and flirting until a late hour. 

"So, see you again soon?" He asked, when he walked you to your door.

"Of course. Hopefully NOT in sickbay, though." You poked him meaningfully in the chest, then leaned up and kissed his cheek. 

"Goodnight, Jim."

"Goodnight, Y/N" he replied staring after you with what Christine would have called "heart eyes."


End file.
